physical symptoms, including insomnia, pain, and stomach distressīetrayal blindness can also happen in the context of romantic relationships.depression, anxiety, and other mental health symptoms.intrusive thoughts about affair details.The discovery of infidelity often leads to:
Infidelity traumaīetrayal in a romantic relationship usually takes the form of infidelity, though other types of betrayal, such as financial betrayal, can also provoke a trauma response. Yet while dissociation might help you cope with the trauma, it can also affect your memory and sense of self. Your ability to “forget” becomes a coping mechanism. Blinding yourself to the betrayal and your fear of future betrayals helps you survive in a relationship you believe you can’t escape. If your parent fails to protect you, this betrayal can so deeply contradict what you expect that you end up blocking it in order to maintain the attachment.
This responsibility forms an unspoken agreement between parent and child. Insecure bonds, on the other hand, often lead to shaky or troubled relationships.Ī parent bringing a child into the world has a responsibility to protect and care for that child.
When these bonds are strong and secure, they pave the way toward secure attachments in adulthood. Your earliest childhood relationships are so significant because they lay the groundwork for later relationships. Let’s take a step back to the basics of attachment theory - attachment comes before betrayal, after all. Though experts originally applied the concept of betrayal trauma to children betrayed by caregivers, it became clear that this type of trauma could also happen in other relationships. As a result, they may not fully process the betrayal or remember it correctly, especially if it happens in childhood. This fear of the potential consequences of acknowledging the betrayal might prompt the betrayed person to bury the trauma. Similarly, someone who lacks financial or social resources outside of their relationship may fear that acknowledging the betrayal and leaving the relationship could put their safety at risk. But when you depend on someone to meet certain needs, this response might not be feasible.Ĭhildren, for example, depend on parents to meet emotional needs along with food, shelter, and safety needs. People often respond to betrayal by pulling away from the person who betrayed them. She described it as a specific trauma that happens in key social relationships where the betrayed person needs to maintain a relationship with the betrayer for support or protection.īetrayal trauma theory suggests harm within attachment relationships, like relationships between a parent and child or between romantic partners, can cause lasting trauma. Betrayal trauma was first introduced as a concept by psychologist Jennifer Freyd in 1991.